It all begins in Baltimore

And so in a matter of hours, the Yankees kick off their season in a not-so-charming one-horse town that has alternately called itself, over the years, "Charm City," "The City That Reads," and perhaps my personal favorite self-appointed title for any purpose, under any circumstances, ever: "The Greatest City in America."

Very few things on the Major League Baseball master schedule have made any sense in recent years...two-game series on the west coast, road trips to one town at a time, stopping at home in the Bronx between Oakland and Anaheim, and it goes on. But this...the Yankees opening at Baltimore...this makes sense. To wit:

• The Yankees were the Highlanders, and the Highlanders were the original Baltimore Orioles when the American League was born in 1901.
• Babe Ruth? Baltimore native.
• Baltimore invented the trend of tearing down an actual old ballpark in favor of a fake old ballpark. Not that Memorial Stadium is comparable to Yankee Stadium per se, but...yeah.
• Rumor (i.e. complete fabrication on my part) has it that working title for Interactive Yankeetainment Experience had been Camden Yards XVII; Citi Field was to be called Camden Yards XVIII.
• Yankees poised to knock down House that Ruth Built; Orioles knocked down Bar that Ruth's Father Built to make way for Camden Yards.
• Baltimore is the setting for The Wire, HBO drama about illegal drug trade. Yankees' offseason was the setting for The Alex Rodriguez Circus, ESPN drama about illegal drug trade.
• Remember that 4-game sweep of the then-relevant Orioles at Camden Yards in the Summer of 1996? I was at those four games. Good times. Inebriated fellow Yankee fan in front of me dubbed Jesse Orosco "Jesse Fiasco," which was pretty awesome. Oriole brass kept 40,000 fans waiting through hurricane-induced rain delay during second game. Not so awesome.
• Season has to begin somewhere.

So there you have it. It all begins in Baltimore. And it all begins at 4:05, which means I have to go find a radio to bring to work in the very likely event I don't actually leave at 4 like I'm supposed to.